5 weeks 6 days 2 hours 20 minutes

Posted by Michelle , Saturday, July 16, 2011 10:25 PM

So, confession: I find myself simultaneously reluctant and thrilled to begin blogging about my new, (soon-to-be) married life.

Not that I'm exactly throwing out the old and dusting my hands of it all. (Quite the contrary!) I do, however, understand (and I'm sure will continue to understand more in the coming months) that this part of my life that has been the last 22 years is coming to a close. I echo all the sentiments of Jon's entry about how much I can't wait to begin our life together, but however ready I am to get on with the next six weeks and be married, I can't say that I'm not sad to leave so much behind. My family. Our house. Our neighborhood. My friends. So many memories.

Having a marriage that changes a lot more about my life than perhaps most marriages is (albeit difficult) also a blessing because I truly have been given a unique opportunity this summer to slowly and deeply process this change. (I'm big on processing, as Jon can tell you. He gives a strong, convicted opinion on a subject at the drop of a hat while I like to think about things for a long time before I make up my mind how I think about them!) The past seven months have been spent hauling suitcases of my out of season clothes, boxes of old letters, pictures, old journals, my jewelry box, and more across the ocean and leaving it in my closet in our house in Amersham. Little by little, I am moving my belongings. Little by little, I've gone from calling it "Jon's house" to "our house." Little by little, I feel more and more and MORE ready to be married to Jon.

Working with homeless children this summer has motivated me to read my Bible more. (Or at all, as too often the case might be.) Good thing I haven't packed that yet! So many times in the classroom, or out in the hallway, or on the playground I find myself at a loss for words, at a loss for how to love, at a loss for patience and gentleness with the children. But how do I expect to reflect God's words, love, or nature when I'm not even opening up his word? Reading The Message paraphrase has given me new-found joy in and thirst for scripture, because I find the words particularly fresh and poetic, just a nice change from skimming over lines that I've heard a million times. This passage from James 1 really stands out to me.

"Prosperity is as short-lived as a wildflower, so don't ever count on it. You know that as soon as the sun rises, pouring down its scorching heat, the flower withers. Its petals wilt and, before you know it, that beautiful face is a barren stem. Well, that's a picture of the "prosperous life." At the very moment everyone is looking on in admiration, it fades away to nothing."

As I prepare to join my life with Jon's, this passage is absolute freedom.

The reason I have been so reluctant to blog about our life is that writing about something and posting it on the internet automatically assumes that someone wants to know. And well, I think there are a few people that do, but I definitely don't want to just send all this stuff out into cyberspace thinking that the world revolves around the image of myself that I project on my blog. Sometimes when I read other blogs they make me feel really insufficient about my own life. Oh wow what an attractive family! I wish I was that pretty. What a gorgeous photo of their living room...I wish I knew how to make a room look like that. Oh, and they are so passionate about this amazing charity! I guess I'm just not compassionate enough. What- they have time to read all these books too?! I wish I was that intelligent....

I think you get the picture.

But James tells us that this is not what life is about! Getting married is not about letting everyone know that you are the most perfect, most charming, most in love couple that has ever walked the face of the planet. With the best dishes, hello. (I mean, I personally think that we are the most in love but I don't have to prove it!) It's not about creating a perfect, "prosperous" life. I've seen too many seemingly prosperous families break apart in my life to believe the myth of prosperity. Or the American Dream. Or the British equivalent.  It's not what I want my life to be about. It's not what I want our marriage to be about.

So, as we begin "our marriage adventure" (please note the cheesy compass at the top of the screen...Jon found this and it makes me giggle!), I believe we're both looking to be genuine. I've been convicted to really focus on building my treasure in heaven (growing in love, respect, patience, generosity, kindness, etc.) rather than on earth, where wedding tablecloths and a full set of dishes and having an argument just seem too important.

In other news, I got my visa (which means I definitely get to return to England with Jon after our honeymoon, and I can now apply for jobs and be legally employed in the UK!) and Jon received an unconditional offer of acceptance to a graduate program at King's College London in Youth Ministry. (He rocks.)

Love and looking forward to seeing friends and family at our wedding,
Michelle

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Engaged in a State of Limbo

Posted by Jon , Monday, July 11, 2011 2:12 PM


Ever get the feeling that life’s been put on pause? It’s a reality that I’ve become rather familiar with over the past year. Obviously, things haven’t come to a complete standstill; it’s not a Sky Plus-esque pause, it’s something altogether more jumpy, like a well-loved videotape. This may appear odd to an observer, given the number of life landmarks that have come my way in the last twelve months. First job, house and car, University graduation, City even won a trophy; in the majority of cases these are notable developments.
But none define who I am, and nor do I ever desire them to do so.

One of the main things that does shape me, my relationship with Michelle, save occasional opportunities to press play, has been in freeze frame since July last year. This is not to say we have not grown as a couple (far from it!), more that we have found ourselves in a constant, at times infuriating state of limbo that is a trans-Atlantic engagement.

Fear not, I’m not embarking on a whine; you can put the cheeseboard away. I truly feel like I’m the luckiest man on the planet. To have all that I do, and everything that I have to look forward to, at twenty-three, is nothing short of miraculous. But it’s that I know what’s around the corner that is preventing me living for the moment. I’ve never been the most patient person; staying in bed until 7am on Christmas morning seemed like torture until I was about nine (teen), but this is a whole new level. Knowing that I will never have to say goodbye to Michelle again after the moment I walk through the Memphis Airport arrivals gate in August has made the nine months since our engagement seem like one long night before the wedding. And we’re both a bit fed up of it!

In my heart, and head for that matter, Michelle is already my wife. What seems like all (but, worryingly, probably nearer a quarter) of her clothes are in her wardrobe in our newly decorated bedroom, along with pictures of her family and friends. As I write this, I can see why I’ve struggled to live in the present recently. It’s not because I’m lamenting Michelle’s absence, it’s just like I’m eight years old again, consumed by excitement and anticipation, restlessly counting down the hours until Christmas can begin. Genesis 2 talks about marriage in terms of man and woman becoming “one flesh” - one person - which goes a long way to helping me articulate this sense of limbo: My other half’s 4,000 miles away.

But only for six more weeks. Present, here I come!

J

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Hey y'all!

Posted by Jon , 2:02 PM

Hello and welcome to our brand new blog! We both love writing, and as we will live far away from our friends and family, we wanted to keep you updated as we start our marriage adventure. Posts will probably range from the deep and thought provoking to the shallow and silly; we hope you enjoy your visits!

With our love,

Michelle and Jon

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